Epictetus, the Greek Stoic philosopher, is reported to have said, "Men are
disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of those things." We
would do well to remember this piece of sage wisdom when confronting the
seemingly stressful realities of everyday life. How often do your views distort
your circumstances and introduce needless stress into your life?
Circumstances may indeed be fixed and out of your control, but your views are
yours for the changing. Sometimes simply taking a different perspective in
thought can cause an immediate relief in feeling. An ample illustration of this
fact can be seen in how two similar events can produce two vastly different
reactions. Take, for instance, an event familiar to us all: driving around
downtown and encountering one red traffic light after another. Even on those
occasions when you are not in a hurry to be anywhere in particular, is it not
true that such an insignificant chain of events can infuriate you to the point
where you are cursing the gods and bemoaning your fate? And yet at other times
you drive around in a relaxed daze, impervious to the onslaught of red. Indeed,
who does not enjoy sitting around on the couch doing sweet nothing? Revealing is
the fact that a car is pretty much a mobile couch!
Epictetus divided the nature of reality into two categories: things we can
control and things we cannot control. The former he termed prohairetic things;
the latter he termed aprohairetic things. Examples of prohairetic things
include your thoughts, your values, your beliefs, your morals, your opinions,
your desires, and your emotions. Examples of aprohairetic things include food
served cold, late parcel deliveries, slow trains, long lines, noisy lawnmowers,
and red lights. Although you might not be able to achieve the Stoic goal of
complete detachment from aprohairetic reality (after all, being mugged in a
dark alley is not simply an inconvenient occurrence!), if you are honest with
yourself, you will no doubt appreciate how much you tend to overreact to the
most inconsequential of happenings, thereby introducing stress into what could
otherwise be a blissful existence -- at least until the next bill arrives.
The simple fact is that stress does not exist in the events around you. Stress
is a product of your own mind. If stress existed in events themselves, then
everyone would react to so-called stressful events with the same level of
stress. Yet surely you know from your own experience that different people have
different stress thresholds, different stress fuses, as it were. Some people
grin their way through a tornado, whereas other people grate their way through
a lottery win ("What am I supposed to do with all this money? What if I do not
manage it properly? Why did this happen to me?"!) Perhaps the headline found in
one national newspaper speaks volumes: WOMAN 'UNEXCITED' BY $16M LOTTERY WIN.
Epictetus taught that the individual who succeeds in firmly establishing the
distinctions between the prohairetic and the aprohairetic will live a life
unencumbered by the stress-inducing tendencies of the untamed human mind. Such
an individual will reach the state known as ataraxia, or a serene state of
mind. Another quote from the master stress-blesser: "I must die. Must I then
die lamenting? I must be put in chains. Must I then also lament? I must go into
exile. Does any man then hinder me from going with smiles and cheerfulness and
contentment?"
Epictetus was not the only Stoic philosopher who understood the self-created
nature of stress. Marcus Aurelius, another philosopher writing in the Stoic
tradition, said, "Outward things cannot touch the soul, not in the least
degree; nor have they admission to the soul, nor can they turn or move the
soul; but the soul turns and moves itself alone."
Or perhaps more relevant to our own times, particularly with the rising gas
prices of the day: I must dump my lead foot on the brake and stop at yet
another red light. Does anything hinder me from gloating over the few cents
I have saved with my increased fuel economy? My spouse has cheated on me. Does
anything hinder me from pulling out the prenup and winning custody of the
PlayStation?
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