For many, spying on someone is an adventure. For some, spying is a way to detect a lie or catch a cheating spouse. For others, spying becomes an obsession that can translate into stalking. So, is there a difference between spying and stalking? When does someone cross that line?
To differentiate between stalking and spying, it is important to look at the situation at hand. A number of factors should be taken into consideration. For example:
Are you spying on a cheating spouse? An invasion of privacy is wrong regardless of who the target is, but there are exceptions for cheating spouses. If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, get the proof that you need. Before you opt for spying, review phone records, text messages, and check your computer’s internet history. If you come up empty handed, opt for spying. To prevent that blurred line from being crossed, stop when you get the proof. Don’t torture yourself by watching your spouse continue to cheat week after week.
Are you trying to catch someone in a lie? Aside from a cheating spouse, lies tend to involve illegal activity. Do you think your teenager may be doing drugs, drinking underage, or involved with an older person? If so, ask. As a parent, you have the right to ask these questions. With that said, teenagers rarely admit wrongdoing to their parents. That is why you may need to rely on spying. It is rare for a parent to be accused of stalking their children, as that parent is typically trying to protect their child.
Do you know the person in question? Many people stalk ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, but some stalk strangers. This is common with a celebrity obsession. It isn’t recommend that you spy on or follow someone who you have yet to personally met. In these types of situations it is difficult for even the police to differentiate between curious spying and stalking.
Do you have any alternatives? In most cases, you do have an alternative and you should consider using it. Do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? Why not hire a private investigator instead. Do you suspect your neighbor is selling drugs out of their home? Instead of putting yourself in a dangerous situation, contact the police.
Are you spying too much? As sited as an example above, you should spy, get the proof that you need, and stop. Once you have acquired proof of a cheating spouse or caught someone else in a lie, there is no more reason to spy. Unless of course it has become an obsession of yours. This is when the line is cross and when spying is considered stalking. If you don’t have a legitimate reason to investigate someone, stop.
What would the police think? This is truly a question that you should ask yourself, as you may find yourself in the situation. Are you a parent who wants to spy on your child’s daycare provider? That provider and neighbors know there is a childcare center in the area, so they are likely to call police when someone is just hanging around. This is done in fear of child predators. So, use your best judgment. If you can answer the question of what would the police think without sounding like a stalker, the line has yet to be crossed.
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